Clever Facebook Status Ideas

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Clever Facebook Status Ideas

Having some cool Facebook status will immediately capture the attention of your friends. The article below contains some really clever Facebook status ideas you may love.

Couple Resting In Campervan

As if by habit, I logged into my Facebook account and was about to type in a clever Facebook status update. My fingers kind of froze and my brain refused to weave words together. I kept tapping my index finger on the space bar, trying to type in something interesting for my Facebook status message. After about 5 minutes or so, I realized I was experiencing a writer’s block or rather to be precise a ‘Facebook user’s block’. This is when I began to wonder are there more people like me lost in the world of Facebook? Are they too threading through the dark jungles of Facebook status sayings, searching for the perfect ones that suit their mood? Guess what? I found a few similar lost souls searching for clever Facebook status ideas. This was when I jumped into action trying to save these lost souls. If you too are one of those lost souls in Facebook land, worry not. I have collected plenty of clever Facebook status messages that will last you for a couple of weeks.

49 Funny Facebook Status Messages

Let me treat you to some funny Facebook status messages that will help breathe some life into your Facebook profile. These funny Facebook quotes are clever and witty, some of the best Facebook status messages. So, what are you waiting for?

  1. Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked “Do you have any firearms with you?” do not reply “What do you need?”
  2. is normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.
  3. is wondering…. if money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
  4. dreams of a better world … where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
  5. Tomorrow I’m gonna write a blog post about procrastination.
  6. Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
  7. Rod is teaching a class on capital punishment at Morling College
  8. is thinking, driving, reading, writing, eating, playing or sleeping. But not all at once.
  9. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
  10. People reckon I’m too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they’re stupid).
  11. I have an oven with a ‘stop time’ button. It’s probably meant to be ‘stop timer’ but I don’t touch it, just in case.
  12. got her test results back this morning and is shocked to find that she’s been diagnosed with OCD. She’s rung the doctors nine times to check if they’re correct.
  13. is “never on schedule, but always on time”.
  14. I don’t slap people I just high-five them in the face
  15. Ever heard the saying “They’d off the deep end”? What’s wrong with the deep end? I LIKE the deep end! Who’s ever had fun in the shallow end of the pool?
  16. wants you to explain the meaning of NO to me. I keep saying it, but the kids are not getting it. Am I saying it wrong?
  17. Wonders, is there a rehab for fb abusers?, cause I think I may have a problem..LMAO
  18. I love my mood ring. When I am happy its green, romantic its blue, sad it’s black, nervous it’s yellow and angry … it leaves a huge welt on your forehead 😉
  19. I truthfully believe that 2012 won’t happen .. I believe that after writing about events 3000 years into the future they got a hand cramp and just stopped.
  20. Facebook is my favorite book.
  21. shouted AAAARRRGGGHHH! in the Library and everyone just stared. I did the same thing on a Plane and everyone joined in.
  22. Put your hand up if you think I am crazy … then think again … i mean who is the one sticking their hand up at a computer screen?
  23. a, b, c, d, e, f, g, gummy bears are chasing me. One is red, one is blue, one is peeing on my shoe. Now I’m running for my life cause the red one has a knife!!!
  24. ‘s conclusion of the day: “If stress actually burnt calories … I’d be a size zero!”
  25. I have to be careful of my thoughts, they may become words at any moment, and that could cause all kinds of problems 🙂
  26. is happy, for no particular reason. Or is that my sanity slowly slipping away?
  27. I think today will be a ‘Just nod and smile’ kind of day …
  28. I was in the store when I put the shirt up on the counter and the lady asks me “you gonna buy that?” “No I’m gonna steal it. Just thought I’d let you know first.”
  29. People are willing to spend hrs on FB playing FarmVille … But ask them to join you to plant real trees and suddenly everyone becomes busy!!!
  30. Wait there is a LIFE outside Facebook? with real people?! and u can talk to them face 2 face!
  31. What do Facebook & the refrigerator have in common? You check both every 5 seconds expecting something new to be there!
  32. is wondering What if Tomorrow never comes? Who will take care of my FACEBOOK profile?
  33. to do list-washing (not done)-dishes (not done)-homework (not done)-Facebook (check)
  34. says that if playing on the computer burned calories I’d be a super model!
  35. says: when i have nothing else left to do on Facebook i just scroll up and down my homepage!
  36. I’m a Facebook addict. Click like if you’re one too! Let’s see how many Facebook addicts we have here.
  37. wishes that there was a way that my FB Apps (CafeWorld, FarmVille, YoVille, PetVille, etc) had a way of transferring the money we make into our bank accounts.
  38. you know it’s bad when your house is on fire and you pause to post it on Facebook …
  39. I hate when I’m supposed to be doin’ somethin’ and then I get on Facebook and get side tracked.
  40. I’m not addicted not addicted not addicted not addicted not addicted! Oooooh My Crops are ready!
  41. I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
  42. i am not perfect – i have my faults of them is that I’m too kind.
  43. To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me?? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!!
  44. **Twinkle twinkle, little star … Point me to the nearest bar.**
  45. ~ Research has shown that women usually sleep on the right-hand side of the bed. Even in our sleep we have to be right!
  46. Dear God, Thank You for my middle finger, for i can use it when words aren’t enough. Amen
  47. is wondering what shall I wear today, my halo and wings or my horns and tail???
  48. There is nothing wrong with talking to yourself or answering to yourself. It’s when you lose an argument with yourself and walk away with a black eye … hmmm
  49. >–Oh my god! Look Look it’s my name see see it’s my name Look Look!

Clever Facebook Status Messages

  1. Just because I talk to myself, have an imaginary monkey, have voices in my head, it doesn’t mean I’m crazy.
  2. We all have that one friend that if you say bite me they would in a heartbeat.
  3. ‘s guardian angel is on stress leave …
  4. I don’t hate you, your just no longer worth my time!
  5. is NOT required to meet your approval!!
  6. is soo bored that I want to run around in the mall going “Boo Ga Boo Ga Booo!” to random people to see their reaction. Who’s with me?

Clever Facebook Status Sayings

  1. wants to know why Facebook wants to know what he’s doing.
  2. is proofreading to make sure he hasn’t missed any words out.
  3. Don’t waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favorite tune and hum it. If you want to “switch tracks”, think of another song you like and hum that instead.
  4. will never forget perpendicular mongooses.
  5. dreamed about maniacal emotions.
  6. longs to be romantically entangled with speculative emotions.
  7. is suffering from amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
  8. is retired. I was tired yesterday, and I’m tired again today.
  9. has used all his sick days so is going to phone in dead.
  10. wonders why Noah didn’t kill the mosquitoes while there were only two.

These were a few clever Facebook status ideas that you can use to update your profile. It is not always possible to come up with something witty, funny, sarcastic, as well as bitchy all the time. You can borrow ideas from the internet as well.

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