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Best Facebook Status
Some of the top Facebook status messages will show you how creative people tend to get on social networking sites. From one liners to below the belt puns, the following article covers it all with the best Facebook status ever.
Facebook has got anyone and everyone hooked on it. The status message bar, I suppose, is what makes Facebook so attractive to the users. You can scream out your emotions with the help of Facebook status updates or let your friends and family know about the latest happenings in your life. You see, for some, the status messages are a unique portal to showcase their inner thoughts and emotions.
Many a time, things that you cannot say to a person face to face, can be told as hints to those who matter on social networking sites. Facebook users do not realize, that they all turn into creative writers while they are updating their status messages. This brings to us to the purpose of writing this article. We shall see some of the best Facebook statuses ever written by users who very creatively demonstrate their current frame of mind online. Here’s a look at some of the best status messages on the internet today.
Best Facebook Statuses Ever
….. is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
…. thinks copy & paste is the greatest invention ever thinks copy & paste is the greatest invention ever thinks copy & paste is the greatest…
You can have everything in life u want, if u will just help enough other people get what they want.
…..is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Insert coin to view my status message.
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
….. loves poetry, long walks and poking dead things with a stick.
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
☆:*´¨`*twinkle twinkle little star…point me to the nearest bar ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶*´¨`*:.
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best-looking guy in the world, but… Oh, hell. Now I’m depressed.
I am so ecstatic but why is it nothing sticking to me?
Good friends are like stars, you don’t always see them, but you know they are always there…
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
The math of Lady GaGa = (RAH)² (AH)³ + [ROMA (1+MA)] + (G.A)² + (OOH)(LA)²
Hilarious Facebook Statuses
Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better.
I was born to be happy… not normal.
Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there’s a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.
I’m Not Single. I am romantically challenged.
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the DreamWorks logo has caught a fish yet.
Life is fun! You should get one.
…. is OCD and gathering his thoughts in alphabetical order…
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
Heat causes things to expand, so I’m not fat; I’m just hot.
Dear math, please stop asking us to find your x. She’s not coming back. And we don’t know y either.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I’d look out the window for that.
Creative Facebook Statuses
Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly….”You can see me???”
How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
I put the hot in psychotic.
Keep scrolling , I got nothing.
If you can make a woman laugh, you’re almost there. If you’re almost there & she laughs, now that’s a different thing.
Yeah I’m married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT’S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
“I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.
They always say “love makes the world go around”… They spelled beer wrong.
My predictive text dictionary doesn’t have “tsunami”, so if you ever get a text from me that says “trumang” start running.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.
Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn, went to 2 Birthday parties, ran 6 miles, then told a bunch of lies on Facebook.
So I turned my phone onto “airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
It’s not hotter this year. It’s just that you are fatter and there is more surface area for the sun to hit.
“Just Be yourself” is something I rarely hear from people who know me well.
Witty Facebook Statuses
I’ve done it in the bathroom, I’ve done it in the bedroom, I’ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can’t seem to stop this texting.:)
After a night of heavily drinkin’ there’s one thing I can’t stand…and that’s up.
Really offended that these microwave instructions told me to turn my burrito over gently like I don’t treat every burrito with the utmost respect!
Every-time I walk over a sewer grate I look down into it hoping to catch a glimpse of a Ninja Turtle.
I’ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn’t need my assistance, so I’m going back to bed.
u cant spell awesome without me!
I consider each one of my friends a gift. Now if only I could remember where I put some of those receipts.
Someone needs to make an app that alerts you every time your girlfriend gets a haircut, so we don’t forget to notice.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right.
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
My girlfriend is gorgeous, selfless, graceful, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.
Research shows that when someone shouts “Oh no he didn’t!” he in fact did.
Guys that try to pick up girls on facebook are pathetic. Girls if you agree, message me your number so we can talk about it.
Sometimes I miss being in a relationship, but then I look at my wallet and I feel alright again.
Fun things to do in Walmart: Take the ”try me” stickers off the toys & place them on condom boxes.
Most Liked Facebook Statuses
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I’m wide awake. Not sure who won.
Tips for Guys on Valentine’s Day: Tell your girl you already got something and make her guess. She’ll automatically list things she wants.
I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it’s mostly grapes actually. Okay, all grapes. Fermented grapes. Ok, I’m having wine for dinner.
How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don’t show it to her.
I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name “fire place”.
If I text with “Almost there!” I haven’t left yet.
I’m not saying you’re stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn’t been seen since the study was conducted.
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present….They are due back at the library today.
Dear Gangsta: If you pulled up your pants a little you could run from the cops faster.
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
Oh, it’s sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don’t have windows.
These were just a handful of the best status messages that are bound to tickle your funny bone. Facebook is flooded with people who love to paint their walls with their imagination and wit. Hey, just remembered, haven’t updated my status for the past 45 minutes, ‘ǝןƃuɐ ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɐ ɯoɹɟ pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooן ɐ ƃuıʞɐʇ sı’. Cheers!