Hilarious Text Messages

Hilarious Text Messages

Looking for some funny messages to text your friends? You're at the right place. Techspirited provides a collection of humorous messages which you could use to make your buddies giggle. Take a look!
Oh Fish!!

One fish to another: It's no use whistling, I can see the bubbles coming out of your bottom.

Why not text your friend a good joke and make him/her roll on the floor laughing? Think how tired and stressed out your friend would be, either attending some boring lecture at high school or after a long day at work.
Don't you think that as a friend, it's your duty to keep him/her pepped up and happy; at least give him/her a reason to smile after a tiring day. Don't just read funny messages, share them as well. What could be better than making one of your loved friends smile, or rather giggle? We've actually made your task easy by providing some funny text messages.
Choose the one you like, quickly type or simply copy and paste if you're reading on your phone, and send it to your loved one.
Hilarious Texts
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see.

I want you to know that our friendship means a lot to me. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump out of the window... I look down and then... I laugh again!

Newsflash: The police are looking for a suspect whose smart, sexy, witty n very gorgeous- they've already eliminated you from the enquiry... where do you think I should hide?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: "Breathe, stupid!"

Q: What do you call a bulldog and shih tzu crossbreed?
A: Bullshit.

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"

I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!

An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes, the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, four minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?" After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."

How do u keep an idiot amused? Watch this message until it goes away!

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

Q: What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
A: It gets toad away.

Q: What did the blanket say when it fell of the bed?
A: "Oh sheet!"

Those innocent eyes,
Those kissable lips,
A great smile,
The perfect walk,
Smoothest talk,
Absolutely gorgeous looks,
That's enough about me-
How are you?

Newsflash: The police are looking for a suspect whose smart, sexy, witty n very gorgeous- they've already eliminated you from the enquiry... where do you think I should hide?

I am not your type, I am not inflatable.

I once sniffed Coke, but the ice cubes blocked my nostrils.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie!

Why can't you accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I know why I am single; my parents-in-law were not able to have kids.

Birdie, birdie in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.

I saw something in the shop window today. It was stunningly cute, beautiful and adorable. I was supposed to buy it for you till I realized it was my own reflection!

Roses are red, violets are blue, Frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you?

Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now!

Hope you enjoyed reading these jokes. Now quickly send some to your friends, and let them have a hearty laugh too.