Best Facebook Status Updates

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Best Facebook Status Updates

Creativity surely has no limits, and what better way to highlight this fact, but to put forth some Facebook status updates which guarantee you a hearty laugh.

If you are on Facebook, we don’t need to tell you what status updates are. No more do you have to shout at the top of your voice to be heard by the world, a mere status update will do it for you. Right from the movie that you have just seen to the fact that you are pretty annoyed by your girl’s daily tantrums … whatever you feel like saying, the world is all ears to you.

Top 50 Facebook Status Updates

On Facebook, you get to do quite a few interesting things; conversing with the entire world is just one of them. Your colleague sitting right next to you may not be interested in the details of the hour-long lecture you got from your superior, but updating your status to ‘a bad day at office’ will bring about a shower of questions, including one from that colleague of yours of course. In simple words, you get to unleash your creativity and make sure that you are heard. A tinge of humor tends to add that much-needed impact to your Facebook status, which is exactly the criteria we have chosen to compile a list of 50 funniest status updates.

  • … has just noticed that things are so much funnier when you are not supposed to laugh and you know it’s so wrong to!
  • Our house is protected by the good lord and a gun; you might meet both if you show up unwelcome!
  • … is reading a book called “The Perfect Man”. She found it in the fiction section.
  • … is havingtrou blewithhis spacebar.
  • I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
  • Some things man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.
  • … is wondering why is the newspaper far more interesting when someone else is reading it?
  • … is swearing to drunk that he is not God.
  • Just got a grip of reality and is choking it to death.
  • Good morning … I see the assassins have failed.
  • … says my computer just beat me at chess … but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
  • Dreams of a better world … where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
  • … feeling like getting some work done … so sitting down until the feeling passes.
  • … is trying to focus on getting the … Oh look, a squirrel!
  • … is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2 – 4 years.
  • If you must be taken for a ride, it may as well be in a good car.
  • Asking a writer how he feels about critics is like asking a lamp post how it feels about dogs.
  • … is wondering could crop circles be the misdoings of a cereal killer?
  • My boss is much more than just a mentor to me … he is my tormentor.
  • Listen to your heart; although it is on your left, it is always right!
  • I finally figured out what mosquitoes are for. They are God’s way to make us slap ourselves!
  • When you have a good imagination, you can make up all the facts you want!
  • … is wondering do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  • Reality is a hallucination brought on by lack of alcohol.
  • … sometimes runs up to strangers on the street and yells “YOU’RE IT!!” and then runs away.
  • I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
  • … is currently out of her mind, but please feel free to leave a message.
  • All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
  • … loves poetry, long walks, and poking dead things with a stick.
  • I am so ecstatic, but why is nothing sticking to me?
  • Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you are interrupting!
  • … doesn’t believe in the easy way out, but rather the smarter way out.
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • … used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she’s good at everything.
  • … is back. by popular demand!
  • … is trying to decide if she has an attitude problem today, or not.
  • … is tired of chasing his dreams. Thinking about asking them where they are going and hooking up with them later.
  • … is proof that God has a sense of humor.
  • I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
  • … is tired of chasing his dreams. I’m just going to ask where they are going and hook up with them later.
  • Be nice to nerds, chances are you will be working for them.
  • … in a relationship with studies and it’s complicated.
  • … is wondering why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but duck when you throw a revolver at him?
  • Women: Can’t live with them, can’t kill them.
  • Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same thing.
  • … is thinking so what if Jesus turned water into wine … I turned a whole student loan into beer once. Your move, Jesus.
  • …is [censored]
  • … has two tickets to that thing you love.
  • Hard work never kills you. It just keeps you away from Facebook!
  • ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

These status updates must have surely made you laugh like crazy. You can simply take some hints from them and come up with ideas of your own. You don’t really need scientific evidence to prove that Facebook-ing is a great stress buster. That millions of people are logged onto their Facebook accounts at any given point of time, speaks volumes about it.

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